happened, i still value the friendship i had with her and
if nothing else, she blogs quite well) and i got to
thinking about the personal changes i've gone
through over the years. she posted this song about a
miss independent who fell in love...or something like
that (it's at the end of this post). that friend was relating
to the song in her post, saying how it was so her at the
moment. i could sort of relate to the lyrics of that song
myself, since i once assumed that miss independent,
miss i-dont-need-anyone front, and still do most times.
we kind of agreed in that desire to be miss independent
for as long as it could be possibly embraced. as for myself,
there are only so many things and possibilities in life that i so
want to pursue and explore, to see where i would be led to, to
find out to what places i can go. i am so in love with writing
and i feel so the same about europe. i want to take up what
writing courses there are in UP. and it has to be UP. the
european culture in my eyes is so very attractive, not to mention
the breathless excitement in seeing the places and relics of its
rich history. there are so many things i want to learn about so
many things. i am drawn towards so many interests and i want
to pursue them all. and in fulfilling them, i've always pictured
me being on my own, being the miss independent that i was talking about.
BUT (kay naa man gyuy apan ang tanan)... would you forego
everything, EVERYTHING... everything else you hold dear for
that SOMEONE you hold dear in your heart? because, whatever
compromises you may come up with, there will always loom the fact
that you'll have to go away at some point to pursue your dreams
and leave that person behind. because it cannot always be that
the person can always be with you. after all, that person has his/her
own dreams to want to go after. it is a guillotine over your head,
maybe not to end your life, but to forever alter everything in it.
yeah, it sounds rather washed out, i know. but well, it's kind of
like football. it's a different world when you're just on the side lines
watching and when you're actually on the pitch playing the game.
it's not the same when you're just talking about love while not
actually being in love. i think i do love this guy that i've been with
since adtong wala pa mi mga buot. and i think he loves me back.
and i know that him and my dreams were long ago placed in paths forked
away from each other. the catch is quite obvious. choose one, leave one
behind. no hitting two or more birds with one stone. the soul yearns for the
fulfillment both of dreams and love. i certainly would like to pursue my dreams.
and i certainly dream about seeing the world and being wisened in many things
about it. but i would like to share them with someone. but from the many
someones i can choose from to share them with, it all boils down to this one
person. dreams are less meaningful when you are not with the ONE. i can dump
miss self-sufficient, miss keep-your-distance in the basket for this one person.
there is fear hidden in that statement somewhere, but the courage outsizes it.
the walls have long ago been cracked and torn down. defenses are at a bare
minimum. i'm naked! love has stripped me down. and here's the final blow that
might otherwise raise the alarm in someone else's ears: maybe, maybe, i just
might give up my dreams if it all means being with this one person.
Miss Independent
Miss independent
Miss self-sufficient
Miss keep your distance, mmmm
Miss unafraid
Miss out of my way
Miss don't let a man interfere, no
Miss on her own
Miss almost grown
Miss never let a man help her off her throne
So, by keeping her heart protected
She'll never, ever feel rejected
Little miss apprehensive
Said ooh, she fell in love
(Chorus)
What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true
(Verse 2)
Misguided heart
Miss play it smart
Miss if you wanna use that line, you better not start, no
But she miscalculated
She didn't wanna end up jaded
And this miss decided not to miss out on true love
So, by changing a misconception
She went in a new direction
And found inside, she felt a connection
She fell in love
(Chorus)
What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true (when love, is true)
(Bridge)
When miss independent walked away
No time for love that came her way
She looked in the mirror and thought today
What happened to miss no longer afraid?
It took some time for her to see
How beautiful love could truly be
No more talk of why can't that be me
I'm so glad I've finally seen
(Chorus)
What is this feeling taking over?
Thinking no one could open the door
Surprise, it's time, to feel what's real
What happened to miss independent's no longer need to be defensive?
Goodbye, old you, when love, is true (when love, is true)
(errr, sometimes, depends on something that can only be satisfactorily
explained by people in the know with computers, the clip i embedded
in the previous post does not show up....grrrr! anyway, just letting
whoever's concerned know. :))
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