:'(

Do you know just how difficult it is to stare your biggest dream in the face and not see any gaping hole through which to fulfill it? DO you KNOW? When all you could do is see it filter through flat glass as if on display, seeming so close but really an entire impossibility away. You know it, deeply and hopelessly stuck, in your gut that it IS what you want most in the whole Deep Blue Sphere...and yet there is NO WAY to get there. Money? None. Qualifications? Zero. Even if you fill your bank ceiling to floor, it will always just be temporary, it will have to end, and your mind will replay over and over your terra cotta house just slipping, away, into thin air, poof, nothing. Because you are poor. Because you are nobody. Because your dream is just too big for your tiny existence.

I want to believe in the universe conspiring in the fulfillment of dreams so badly. Deeply and helplessly.