cramped

there are so many hang-ups in my life, i've found. i can be more liberated in my thinking, and yet i am stuck with describing the surface, because i am unable to pierce through what's beyond. i do not even know what is beyond, i just know i can perceive more when i'm there. for now, i can only read my thoughts and what i am in some other person's words. i long for that time when i can read my thoughts, my very existence in my own words. or is that forever an impossible, blind thing? brandon boyd, alanis morissette, where do they find their words? i think it is only through going beyond the boundaries of what you know, venturing into the uncharted, though not so uncharted, for others would have gone before. i long to be the one who puts things on the map, and be ahead of the entire human pack for once. i want to grow wide and deep and well-watered. how, how, how.....