When I think about it, I've known a number of people in my life. Others may have known a much bigger number, but my number is big enough so that it becomes difficult to catch up with each one. And there are a lot that I would ideally want to catch up with on a daily basis.
I've noticed that I'm a different person to each group that I've become acquainted with, and that it's impossible to unite these different versions of me at one time, so that I can become just one person to all of them. I've imagined, that were all these people to meet with me at the center, what they would think.
But well, I think that it's still the same me they will be talking to. Even if I may act differently around the different groups, these groups will still find some common threads that lead to the same person.
***
There's this girl on my friends list that I think is so lucky. I would like to envy her, but there's just no point at being so. I wouldn't go anywhere near where she's at if I do. I would gain nothing in being envious. This girl reminds me of the things that I would have loved to pursue, had I the resources I need. I would have loved to be up-to-date with owning the latest gadgets, the latest books, the latest everything I'm interested in. That would be like having every material want at least, almost at my every whim. And that isn't bad, anymore. In fact, that's already great. It's just that I would not like to spend above which I find reasonable in the financial circumstances I think I'm in. I would have loved to watch the Incubus concert in Manila last 2004, for example. It was well within geographical reach but well above financial means.
That girl is in the U.S. now, and she already saw Chelsea FC when they came there. That only means that Europe isn't too far away for her now, which is also one of her aspirations. And the greatest of mine.
We don't talk much, this girl. We're only acquaintances at best. But somehow I'm drawn to check regularly on her account, see what she's been up to. And, I just think, she's having a ball where she is. Where I am, I have to put in effort to deserve that description about my life. But really, it's okay. There's nothing I could do. One could change his stars I guess, but it's not going to be as enjoyable as how William Thatcher (A Knight's Tale) did it.
P.S. Does this make me a stalker? Even if I'm not lesbian??? *cringe*
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3 comments:
Lai! OMG. I found you.. lol. I linked you up. Musta girlee? I miss you.. Tc! *hugs*
stalker? nope...lesbian-ish pa siguro! hehehe (sikreto ra nato na lai!)...i get the post. Like, wishing you could have this or that or be this or that...happens to a lot of us actually. and nothing wrong, in fact it's good sometimes...libre pa jud.. ;-)
aw, pahabol.. not using blogger anymore so link me thru dis okay? (and akong mga posts from blogger na import na pud nako didto..hehehe)
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