i can look beyond, and i can look behind. but i can barely bear to look
at what is in front of me, what's right in my face.
i am currently doing a thesis, i did mention before. and still, i am
afraid that i might not be able to pull it off. there are just so many
worries that pop into my head every time i try to write... they tell me to
look closer and be cautious with every step because i might make a
wrong move and sentence the tiny beginnings of my thesis to oblivion.
to make things shorter, i am afraid to mess up and not graduate.
i need someone's help. someone who's been here before.
all i can see is what could be life after college. or what it has been before.
i cannot visualize how to work through my situation.
and there are only so many distractions that can divide your focus.
but i guess, what i have to do is picture how i'm going to get through this rut
to actually get out of it.
stating it is so simple. easier said than done. and that's what i hate.
i don't feel any relieved at all at having said this. haaaaaaay...
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3 comments:
I can... *sigh* Ok, I can't help. dnt knw how to make even the intro page to that thesis thing. :( But if thrz smthng or anythng I can do ... buzz me and im all urs. hehe.
by now, i bet one of the last things you'd want to hear is "i know how you feel"..but anyway, i have this gnawing urge to tell you, "lai, i know how you feel"... ours might not have been called a thesis, but in a sense, our research that is still continuously under revision (yep, our graduation was somehow a fraud..hehehe), was a subtle form of deathrow!.. but, with the help of the Almighty, and this DRIVE to get out of the madhouse, we (it was a group work) managed, er, are managing.
bio noh? hahay, just the sound of it scares me, pero, i think like any other obstacle under the sun, you might want to take it a day at a time. it is also during this episode of your life na you tend to embrace the fact that patience is indeed a virtue.
hang in there, ok? a lot of people are rooting for you-- though they may sometimes seem to be "pressuring" you, but from what i've learned through experience, they actually mean well. but there's another thing i've learned from that experience called "coming up with a research paper that will pass"...that the most pressure i've felt, was actually from myself.
i hope i can help you out in some way i can. ;-)
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