reposts

"balance. :("

[reposted from friendster bulletin]
a scribble from emma. i always enjoy reading her pieces.


i am a walking contradiction... the surface and the content not meeting, not matching...never agreeing with each other. how many times has this happened? how many bruises have i nurtured? how many stinging emotions have i rationalized?there are days when id give my unique little pinky up in return for a clearer disposition...one that conforms with the rest of humanity...one which the world can recognize and praise any given day. but the kind of sicko i am, despite the inevitable weakness in some aspects of my demeanor, overpowers the kind of sane person i should be. some say saner means stronger. but i am strong in an entirely different way. and it has proved me for the past twenty years of my existence, that when life feels like turning the tables and twisting one's faith, one's strengths can be one's weakness...and vice versa.and whether you falter and fall, or fly and soar...scars of all sorts, of all depths, of all intensity, always show up.how ironic is irony? that i should love and hate and hate and love all at the same time.. how painful should pain be? that two and a half years is not enough for itty-bitty scratches in my heart to heal, and rising like a phoenix being reborn from the ashes is mediocre before the gods.how unfair should injustice be? that i should carry the burden of loving someone forever..and miss the convenience of moving on.i laugh to cover up the cries of my bossom, bellowing with uncertainty and confusion. i snicker and roll my eyes, so no one sees how disgusted and disgruntled i am with myself. i pretend i dont care, so no one knows that in the deepest niches and folds of my youth and my naivete...i still do...i still do.when it comes to silly things like love and life, experience never makes anyone an expert..it only makes one more prone and more accepting to reality. so i shrug at these silly things, close my eyes, take a deep, deep breath, and engrave what i know......that today i am a walking contradiction... and i need to stumble some more... just to find balance. =/


"the sunny side of the street"

[reposted from kring ]
i can sort of relate to sentence #5...basta...

More and more people these days tend to forget the very reason they exist. They become more android-like than human, and it's really sad. I know how sad that feels, considering that i have been through a pre-programmed state--following routine and stuff like that.
I guess there are a few blessed souls who wake up every morning singing in their heads songs of summer (to the tune of "i'm walking on sunshine", maybe?). On the other hand, there are those who cook up in their heads pathetic excuses just to stay in bed (LBM, a flat tire, migraine... the list goes on, depending on your status).
But like everything else in existence, routine is as transient as the word "temporary" could get! (geez, take it from the adage "temporary insanity")...
hmmm...writer's block... excuse me for a while......it may be a little longer than that...

according to them... (edit)

You Belong in London A little old fashioned, and a little modern. A little traditional, and a little bit punk rock. A unique woman like you needs a city that offers everything. No wonder you and London will get along so well. What City Do You Belong in? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

there was supposed to be a bit more stuff than this, but when i viewed this again, i got embarrassed of what i posted. so everything else was scrapped. and so, wysiwyg. actually, the above is the most interesting discovery i've had when i took those quizzes. i've long dreamed of setting foot in europe (where to first is inconsequential, but i must visit the entire continent), and imagine how elated i was to find that i belong in london. a sign of my destiny, maybe? well, here's hoping.

(the quiz was just probably designed to entertain, but what the heck. i'll try my luck with most anything for europe!)

to my avid detractors (more biting edit)

i don't exactly know what you're so pissed at me for,
maybe because you're too chicken sh1t to come into
the open, lest you find yourself on the erroneous side
of the issue, perhaps?

however, thank you for so freely expressing how you feel
about me by leaving your hate comments on my blog. i
appreciate your taking the time to type in my blog address
on your browser and post away, though i'm sorry to say
that i have to mostly delete them, because, well,they're
not exactly very pleasant to encounter time and again.
i'm sure you'd feel the same if you were in my aggrieved
little shoes. but i will try my hardest to stifle the resentment
i feel on my part and keep your undesirable and unsolicited
comments.

for all the inapt, unfitting, inapplicable and ill-chosen
obscenities that you hurl against me, i do still wish to
learn who you are and even eager to meet you in person.
i would want to settle this unfortunate matter, whatever
it may be, so that i may learn how i've wronged you if i
ever factually did. i would want to learn what it is that
causes you to curse me as much as you do.

in the meantime, you may have to wallow and remain there
in that frightful hole you must be hiding in right now, suffocating
in the anger that you're harboring. i would hate
for anyone to suffer because of me, but i would more hate myself to
suffer because of you, you who hide behind the convenience
of anonymity.

before i end this, i do hope that you realize that i am talking to
you, and that i'm actually doing this to end these feelings
of enmity that you feel for me and those that i'm likewise beginning
to feel for you. (that's a lot of hoping there). otherwise it's
hopeless. and unluckily, you will just continue launching this aimless
campaign in the futile hope of denigrating me. yes, it is aimless and
futile, much as i might wish for your success. well? are you brave
enough to "unmask yourself"?