unease amid apparent bliss

a secret feeling that maybe this is just an extended spur of the moment, a prolonged amazement of something un-amazing although new, something that will lose glitter, shed off the shiny wrapping paper, and unmask the unremarkable that all along hid poorly beneath black kohl and the occasional mousse blush.

a shadow of you is not you

the actual irrecoverable thing about it is, you've been taken out of the position where you can do anything about it. someone else is doing a better job now. and the most you have on that person is a faint, faint resemblance that looks nothing like you.

saying something that might come out too sincere more often than not results in awkward but i want to never apologize for something that i meant...and yet the whole world is built around "avoid awkward" ---one of the WHY-shaped craters in my mind.

i'm feeling small right now...so.

the loneliest feeling is when you realize you don't have someone...and others around you are snuggled safe against the love of their lives. the bitter thing about it is not that there's no one to love, but that you don't know who you want to love. a no brainer for some.
for some.

Volume on low

On these Premium-and-Light-on-the-streets nights, the heart opens and uses the only voice it knows...but no one wants to listen. Ultimately, the price of being different is meriting less of what is normally freely given to everyone else. It's not the whiny quality, or the awkward, halting, stuttering delivery...it's that amorphous, difficult mass the syllables had fumbled over.

Maybe my means only comes up to where my pen begins.