flowers and starlight

It is light and consequential warmth that is attractive.

But try as we might to shine, there are just those of us

who dwell in places where the shadows are taller than the sun.

Somehow, we will always emit a cooler fire, of desires spurned,

of feelings unreturned. While it is we who make the bigger

effort, go out the longer way, it is lightness and effortlessness

that will be our doom. The absence of trying, the apparently

natural always seems to be perennially beautiful.  Anything else

is overlooked in rejection.

But then there are those who take fondly to the dark, a special

attraction towards the uncommon. Not everyone was after all born

with flowers in their hair. Some were made to hold starlight in their

eyes. There are those who walk nimbly in shadow, where birds 

and flowers close their eyes or otherwise grope and

fumble. Adventurers dare to venture into the night, and it

is often they who discover the secret beauties that shelter in

its folds. For not everyone knew to bask in light. Some of us have to be

discovered, uncovered, and revered all in the dark. It is not for everyone.

But it is for some ones.

written on paper 06/18/2008

in your next life, then series - 3

The last brick fell between us when you dropped your words like goodbye, upping the blue in your child-eyes and plunging my heart to my feet. It felt like we lost that hole of opportunity just enough to lose our heads in a kiss and our hands to reach places. My dreams leave to explore other potentials and my mind fills with just you.

With that final brick, the feeble illusion of freedom shatters and we find our grips tight around the bars of time between us, driven deep into the years before I heard your body speak. What I would give now to own your eyes and cross the breadth of your shoulders to wherer your hair sways to the strength in your arms. Even now I risk to learn the shapes and planes where the eyes are closed and the mouths are caves. But when time does the masonry, iron is steadfast and bricks will harden in the mortar.

in your next life, then series - 2

I am Atlas and the Earth is my loss
for your gentle eyes are not mine
And I pull the moon without you
My mind cannot fathom sometimes
the nearness of your shoulders
or the firmness of your chest
as it fleets from my back
I could only whine with my eyes
what my heart might put in my mouth
To hurl against your ear
A smile is but my weak consolation
I'm not in love with your lips
but the smell they give you
spirals up my helpless nose and if
I had no body, you would hold my soul
as my mind holds them now
so intimately crushing against my own
Though these dreams make me foolish
I wait like a clown for your next life
where I would be yours and time
becomes our best friend

in your next life, then series - 1

The deadbolts of your words
And the aching gentleness of your eyes
Feel not unlike regret
Though lamentable that the first
Real emotion between us
is sadness, of chances flying by like arrows
Not taken because time did not permit us
I am still glad
however remotely or less than you
or I would have liked
I feel the pull of the Earth on
my heavy loss
but just give me your gentle eyes
and let me devour the breadth of your shoulders
and hear your broad chest and powerful height
for each day that I am in
love with you
You can go home without me
just come back at the hour
with the sun and until my heart is whole
come to me when your next life has begun

pieces in my sleeve

i've been tucking in little pieces of my heart in my sleeve, and now i pull them out even if i bleed. you are too much like the rest of them, and i was blind. or maybe i just did not want to see beyond smile and eyes that always cost me, and not just with you. and though fooled, even now with just one gentle word i cave in, waiting to die again.

i am an i

they'd like me to come to them, keep me at arm's length...perhaps to own, to add another lump to the facelessness. but i'd like to keep my uniqueness, thank you, not subject to the tumultuous sea of emotions and thoughts that will crash around my ears. no thanks. i'm me, i don't want to be your padding while you are snug in the heart of it all.

slowing to a stop

I'm going sane. coming out of danger, finally.